Teachings

PA IV Day 1 - Intro to Meditation

 

Ajahn Buddhisaro: Okay, everyone's doing very well. How is the first formal morning session going? This is a 10-day retreat, which might seem long compared to shorter retreats. We'll have five hour-long sessions per day, totaling 50 sessions, but it is finite. That's not including walking meditation or including all our activities in mindful awareness. Today, we set the precedent not to be sloppy meditators or practitioners, but to appreciate this opportunity and make the most of it. For beginners, it's excellent to go through a brief protocol to begin the session, like establishing our intent. And also, everyone should make a special intention to be on time for group sessions.

 

So, setting up the intention. We actually started with bodily relaxation to settle in before clarifying our intention. Sweeping through the body as a meditation theme, releasing tensions, or making adjustments in posture. We want to be comfortable but alert. Finding the right posture or cushion is important, and it's fine to sit in a chair. Yoga stretching can help open up muscles and tendons for an easeful sitting posture. Relaxation first, just establishing a relaxation of the body. Tensions in the body are often connected to mental tensions. These are interconnected and part of our whole system. Understanding the influence of mind tensions on the body and vice versa is important.

 

We are developing our metacognitive awareness of our body and mind, beginning to develop skills on how to release tension. This can be a profound skill of relaxation, similar to what we learn in yoga. As we go deeper into a stretch, we bring our awareness to a particular muscle, breathe out, relax that muscle, release the tension, and go deeper into the stretch. It's a very similar process with the mind, where we see where the mind might be holding onto something, like a thought about the past or future, and bring mindful awareness there and breathe. Breathing can be extremely valuable, if not essential, in learning skills of relaxation and releasing tension and grasping. Letting go might feel different for each one of us. For some, it might seem deliberate, like actually holding something and releasing it. Or it might not feel like a full release, but even just relaxing the grip is enough to ease certain tension. We use a more progressive approach, not thinking in terms of 'I am relaxed' or 'I am not relaxed', but rather 'how we can be more relaxed' or 'less grasping'.

 

Perhaps many of us are already familiar with these relaxation techniques through physical culture like yoga or meditation methods. It may take a few days to settle in, especially if coming from busyness, travel, holiday festivities, or a busy work schedule. Keep in mind the process of settling in, which might involve catching up on rest or adjusting to jet lag. We want to be mindful of getting good rest at night to help with our wakefulness practice during the day. Establishing a sit involves getting clear about our intention and having a good direction of intentionality at the beginning of a session. After establishing our intention for the sitting session, we go through an as-needed process of relaxation and settling into the posture. Then, we bring our awareness to our mind to ensure it is open and relaxed. It's often easier said than done to keep the mind from wandering to the past or future. We have to remind ourselves to use the technique of relaxation, letting go, and bringing our mindful awareness back to the present and our designated meditation object or theme.

 

Developing this skill leads to a cooperative mind. The saying goes, 'the mind makes a good servant but a bad master.' Not a servant in the sense of a slave, but serving our meditation and practice, or whatever activities we want the mind to engage in. What does it mean to be mindful, aware, or wakeful? It involves clarity of mind, focus of attention, stability of awareness, lucidity, and vividness. Meditation requires skillful use of our attention and awareness, being present and responsive to our experiences.

 

So, having established our intention not to be a sloppy meditator but to develop good habits, we focus on the sensation of breathing. Whether with eyes open or closed, we find a way that helps us locate the subtle sensation of the breath. Bringing attention to the sensation of breathing, we might focus on a specific location or point, like resting our attention on a rock near the seashore, where the tide comes in and out but the rock remains visible. Keeping attention on that location or sensation as the breath moves in and out is part of the practice of mindfulness of breathing.

 

The simplicity of mindfulness of breathing is certainly one of its virtues, as a specific technique aiming to develop deeper focused unification of mind, with strong sati and samadhi. Anapanasati, mindfulness of breathing at the nose or upper lip, is quite compatible with using the step by step nine stages of the elephant path, leading to unification of mind. When attention becomes well-rested on the sensation of the breath, almost effortlessly, it can lead to deeper meditation experiences of rapture and bliss energies, or seeing images or lights, and other such meditation phenomena. Dealing with distractions involves being mindful when attention wanders and bringing it back to the sensation without fuss. For sticky thoughts, we may use mental noting or strategic reflections to reestablish intent and refocus on the sensation. This approach should be sufficient to start with, but be assured there are numerous skillful means designed to deal specifically with any kind of distraction or hindrance that may arise while training the mind in meditation.

 

Being well-established in loving-kindness, compassion, and benevolent intent should be part of our intention when we sit down for a practice session. At the very least, we should have loving-kindness and compassion for ourselves to grow in well-being and develop life skills, and this will naturally expand to include others.

 

Buddhist scriptures provide a technical methodology on how these wholesome sources of joy support meditation practice. Mindfulness of breathing is a crown jewel of meditation practices, favored for its simplicity and profundity. When mindful awareness connects with the breath, it quickly calms the heart and the mind, leading to pleasant physical sensations and even blissful raptures, which commonly arise through unification with our meditation object. These first three days are crucial for establishing skilful habits in our meditation practice, focusing on bringing our attention back to the breath without fuss whenever we get distracted.

 

Take an interest in the sensations of the breath. It's amazing how a subtle thought about the breath will start to show up, and we can just bring our attention back to the sensation of the breath. If something else comes up, no fuss, just bring the attention back to the breath and let it rest there. We have a saying, 'not too tight, not too loose.' We need to feel out for ourselves the right balance of attending to the task vigilantly but not being overly assertive or forceful, or micromanaging. At times, we might need to use more assertion, and at other times, the mindfulness may seem quite compliant. We should just rest the attention without too much anticipation or expectation.

 

See what happens when we, as beginners, rest our attention on the breath, keeping it there like it's floating or suspended in the space of our knowing. For those more familiar with some other meditation object, like a mantra, it's okay to use what you're familiar with, but trying mindfulness of breathing during structured sessions and as a group is greatly encouraged. This practice can of course be combined with loving kindness, joy reflections, or body sweeping for relaxation. Body sweeping can also help occupy the mind if it's too restless, providing a meditation object more dynamic than just the location or sensation of the breath.

 

Experiment with exploring body sensations in any way you like. For example, scanning from the crown of the head down to the tips of the toes and back again, or focusing on the area of the heart combining it with loving kindness. For some, this might be basic, but for newcomers, it can be quite instructive. Another possibility is exploring presence awareness, like simply resting one's mindful awareness in the present moment, being open to whatever sensations arise, like sounds or the ticking of a clock. This approach of remaining present in the now and letting all sensations into consciousness can be wonderfully relaxing.

 

Presence awareness practice involves recognizing our natural sense of pure open awareness, while letting any sensations come, completely engaging our senses, and opening our hearts into the knowing of it, like being in a flow state where our sense of being overly self-conscious begins to subside. Imagine sitting and letting the sense of a meditator meditating subside, simply being present and aware. A deep belly breath can have a pacifying effect on our physiology and mind. It's excellent to try this with eyes open, being present and aware, setting thinking and doing aside, shifting into knowing and being.

 

This fundamental sense of being present and aware, naturally and effortlessly, can be recognized as a dimension of our very being. This approach may be somewhat accessible already if it’s our familiar meditation practice, or we may discover we have some natural talent or affinity for it, appreciating the simplicity, ease, and sense of effortless presence. It has profound potential for insight, this establishing a dimension of presence in the now, which gives a new perspective and appreciation of thoughts of the past and future arising as a flux of change, and how we cocreate our sense of self.

 

This presence awareness insight approach helps resolve and release confusion and grasping, as if reharmonizing with the way things are. It offers direct experiential insight into a more fundamental dimension of who and what we are, our core subjectivity of pure being and knowing, which is often being overlooked in favor of the more superficial self image and personality. The vantage point of being and knowing connects directly to our heart's natural instinct to care. All sentient beings have this instinct to want to be happy and prosper. Being in direct contact with this dimension of presence and awareness puts us in touch with our heart's instinct. So presence awareness is another meditation theme we can develop, like mindfulness of breathing or loving-kindness meditation, or combining them in any way we like.

 

Experimentation over the first few sessions is encouraged, finding what we connect with and feel inspired by. There are many themes or objects of meditation to explore. Not too tight, not too loose is the general discernment regarding right effort. Encouragement and enthusiasm are key, as they include joy. This retreat is an adventure, and we should have fun with our practice while being enthusiastic and committed.

 

This may be a very precious opportunity indeed, even approaching it as if it’s a once in a lifetime. For many of us, our first 10-day retreat was life-changing. It provided a huge boost to our quality of life, our understanding of ourselves, our hearts, our minds, and what can really give a sense of meaning and purpose. It’s about reevaluating values and priorities in life, gaining intelligence and wisdom, and learning how to act skillfully from love and compassion to fulfill those values and priorities. It involves learning deeply and intimately about our hearts and minds.

 

Have we ever really experienced our consciousness as pure experiencing, ever fresh, arising new from moment to moment? Each breath we take is unique, each sound and sight is a first-time experience. Our experiences are ever new, ever now, ever fresh. Have we truly lived or discovered this full moment, what it means to be alive and to be a sentient being experiencing our world? There's so much awaiting us to be discovered.

 

So, this concludes the morning talk with a sharing of inspiration. May all auspicious circumstances prevail, may our highest aspirations be fulfilled. Wishing well and fruitful practice for the retreat yogis. We have another half hour of walking and will reconvene at 11 for a group sit. Please be on time. Thank you.

PA IV Day 4 - Presence Awareness

 

Ajahn Buddhisaro: Well, as promised, today is a new day on this retreat. You can even think of it as a beginning, a new retreat, or kind of phase two of the retreat. We've revised the schedule to include interviews today, starting at 10:30. We'll do those interviews from 10:30 to 12:30. We'll have six 20-minute interview slots per day, and conduct them walking, so we can talk away from the house. Everyone can sign up here and please be on time outside by the car park so we can switch off seamlessly. Yes, we will put them near the front door. So after the talk, we can promptly sign up, hopefully in a courteous queue. We will begin immediately after the talk, perhaps concluding a few minutes early. One list will be posted by the door, and one will be on the dining room table. This is in conjunction with, as requested by some who are not beginners and would like more freestyle sitting and walking opportunities.

 

A few friendly reminders, please do come on time for all the group activities. We also try to use the bathroom before the sessions so we can have a solid continuity of sitting together. We understand there may be exceptions or emergencies. This can really support the quality of the meditation training here and for the group cohesion. We know that for some, the physical posture will be quite challenging, while for others, the challenge is more with distractions or emotional content. It's probably preferable to get a solid sit in the chair rather than having to keep shifting postures on the floor. Please feel that out. We know that fidgeting or shifting can be contagious. If you do need to shift or itch, do so mindfully, but try not to give in to every little discomfort and find a balance. If you feel up for it, you can sit on the floor, but it's fine to do so in a chair as well.

 

This two-hour session, these first three days, we've really been on schedule with some structure to establish a good practice, a good routine, self-discipline, and group support. This is a good time during these next four days, we can call it the middle retreat or the second phase of the retreat. During these days, we'll really do some exploration. Some of us might prefer to sit longer, and actually, the shift into the walking seems like an interruption, or we might just like to explore sitting longer. Some of us who are really getting into walking meditation might prefer to walk longer than just the half-hour. So this can be another fine way for us to experiment a bit more with what seems to be working for us, to keep it fresh and to really be applying whatever meditation skills we're developing. This is an important stage of developing our practice where we ease off on strictness or routine, which can have a wonderful effect, especially after we've built up some good habits. Just exploring longer sitting, longer walking, and relaxing certain strictness or routines can be very beneficial.

 

We'll also have a freestyle group sitting and walking for the three to six afternoon session. So this will be the morning session from 10:30 to 12:30, a two-hour session, and then the three-hour afternoon group sitting and walking. It's a wonderful opportunity if one loves to go for a longer walk or do a bit more contemplation or just the open awareness style. There's wonderful road walking here with little forested logging roads that go off the main road, and there's not a lot of traffic. Longer walks, I really enjoy those. 

 

Try to use the time primarily for sitting and walking rather than just reading or lounging. That will be part of our developing self-discipline and not letting this valuable opportunity slip away. Here, it's about developing the meditation practice we've had for the last few days. So we'll have to experiment with that. This kind of not too tight, not too loose approach will really come to the fore.

 

Anyone is perfectly welcome to continue with the schedule as it's been. The structured sitting and walking may be working wonders for some of us. Some of us love the structure; we don’t have to think about whether to walk, sit, or lounge, but we’re already in a groove. We are beginning to introduce more explicitly the presence awareness style of the retreat and some of those themes in the next few days. But if we are already really connecting with the breath and the good intentionality we’ve been putting into that is paying off, and we want to continue with that, please do so. Or any other practice we’ve been connecting with, please continue to do that, if you like. Please continue to keep the structured sitting and walking schedule if you like, or do a little experimentation here.

 

Presence Awareness. We’re curious about what might have opened up for some of us this morning, especially if it’s a new style practice. Some of us mentioned already feeling a connection to it, or even being delighted that it's included. This could bring a whole new dimensionality to the practice. Some traditions start virtually from the beginning, introducing meditation in this way, at the very least, having had some preliminary training in basic mindfulness meditation, like we've been doing the past three days. 

 

However, it does have the potential to be quite an advance or quite a next level that we're taking our practice to. The simple fact of being present and aware could be a revelation, a discovery, a realization. This fact, that the sense of being, is always present, is called a direct path or the discovery path. Rather than cultivating something like a skill or a particular state, it's about something which is always already present in our experience.

 

We may need to explore it and verify it for ourselves. For any experience to be happening at all, must there be the knowing of it? We are talking about direct experience here. We see how easy it is, as soon as we depart our direct experience, to go into the mind and to begin to speculate. Or to think about. Many progressive meditations are designed to teach us how to unhook from the mind or perhaps a habitual over-reliance on the mind to explain things. We may be beginning to notice how that does lead to an overly conceptual construction or co-creation being imposed on what we are experiencing. Perhaps that to some extent is obscuring our ability to interpret what we are experiencing in new ways.

 

Let's see if we can verify it for ourselves. Would we be having an experience without the knowing of it? Go to any sensation we're directly experiencing right now, and imagine that the knowing of it were not there. What is this seemingly over simplistic exercise or experiment designed to reveal to us? What about the fact of knowing? Some of us prefer knowing because it's a verb, an activity. Expressing it that way can help to keep it fresh.

 

What am I knowing now? Pay special attention to the flow of sensations. If the mind is quiet, we still hear, for example, the ticking of the clock. The fact of knowing for any experience and every experience to be happening at all. If we are listening to the tick of the clock, think of it as knowing hearing. The sound would not be there if the knowing of it was not. Likewise, if our eyes are open, anything and everything we're seeing, consider knowing, seeing. Would any light, color, or object arise in our consciousness without the knowing of it? Direct experience is the only thing which will be convincing. Or let's consider again the sensation in the hands, knowing, touching. Would that sensation of touching be there at all without the knowing of it? This is not an ontological claim; it's appealing to our direct experience.

 

An exploration of the fact of knowing. Knowing hearing. Touching. What about the inner sense of thinking and feeling? We discussed last night how we might include a thought arising in our awareness without getting captured by it, without grabbing on, without pushing away. See how this is a next level of relaxation, as if in a flow state of non-grasping. Stepping out of the thinking into the knowing, into the awareness. Feel how free and spacious that is, as if all-embracing.

 

This kind of unconditional acceptance, or unconditional love, is inherent in awareness itself. Awareness doesn't grasp onto sensations. It lets them arise and subside to their nature. Remember that rope burn? Being in harmony. Letting come what comes, letting go what goes, letting be what is. A great sense of ease and peace. In this convention of presence awareness, pure being, pure knowing. Everything is arising in the knowing, including space. How amazing is that? What if this awareness itself we're boundless like space. Or set free from the localization and identity with a separate body and mind. If that's a little spooky, then simply include it. Awareness is all-inclusive, it excludes nothing, for everything is arising in it. Imagine that, the totality of our consciousness arising in the space of awareness. Or for some of us, it's this sense of pure presence, pure being, which seems to speak to the core source of self, our sense of self, our subjectivity.

 

Have we ever really deeply inquired into that? Who am I? I am. What is the source of self and subjectivity? What is the source of love, of unconditional love? This pure being, this pure knowing, must be the portal. Do we see how the knowing is always now? We must verify this for ourselves. Is it actually possible to get out of the now? In our direct experience. Have we noticed how this sense of being is always right here? Is it possible to get out of the here? Don't they have a saying, wherever you go, there you are. What are the implications of that? The sense of here is always with us. The sense of now is the knowing is always with us. The space of awareness is always an ever present dimension of our being in which any and all experience is only ever arising. What are the implications of this, what new vantage points and insights might it provide? About the past, about memories, about our sense of self, about who and what we are. Our identity and the world of our experience, all sensations, all thoughts and arisings.

 

The presence awareness is always already right here, right now. This present state of knowing is in a flow state of non-grasping. Imagine that, this very simple, yet profound, shift in our practice has the potential to save us many years, perhaps even decades of frustrating practice. All that obligation, all that struggling and striving, all that I am a meditator meditating. This can, as it were, open up a whole new dimension of understanding in our own heart and mind, and the consequent skills in meditation.

 

This state of non-grasping. Already meditating. Non-grasping is the nature of the knowing. So please feel free to explore these things. We've gone quite beyond just simple meditation and training the mind in non-distraction. We're beginning to add insight themes, such as the nature of the knowing itself, such as the nature of experiencing itself, such as the nature of the now. Sensations in the flow state of non-grasping are self-liberating by nature through the pure being itself. What is our source of self and subjectivity? Are these not important questions?

 

If we don't know ourselves, can we really know anything? If we don’t truly love ourselves can we truly love anything? The implications for liberating freedom and insight are very near. So please follow your heart, follow your inspiration. Keep up your diligent practice while making good use and enjoying the freestyle sessions. So we'll conclude the talk here and we'll begin with interviews. May the retreat yogis have fruitful practice.

PA IV Day 7 - Love & Compassion

 

Ajahn Buddhisaro: Exploring love, loving, compassion. This, as it were, is a fundamental expression of the heart, our heart. Can we call it the heart? Perhaps it's a fundamental expression of life itself, of creation, of being. What it means to be a sentient being. As we delve deeper into dimensions of ourselves, relevant in every way, we question who and what we are. We are expressions of nature, of life, as if life itself is doing us in some magical figure-ground reversal. Isn’t it so that we come into this world already embodying this love and caring?

 

Or, might we say, the desire for loving and being loved? We discussed this term, desire, the other day, or wise desire. But what if we replace that with love? What does every desire fundamentally seek? Doesn't it seek its own fulfillment? What are these desires aiming at? Yes, perhaps all desires, even the most mundane day-to-day ones, like the body's need to eat, to rest, to seek comfort, or the desire for harmonious relationships with each other.

 

Avoiding conflict, both inner and outer, striving for harmony. Through inquiring into this more fundamental expression of desire, we discern how each desire, in some way, aims at the well-being of the being, the sentience of being. Sentience implies awareness and feeling. Consider the nature of a being. What would we discover if there were no feelings? It might be akin to a silent movie – devoid of feeling, of caring. It's abstract. Perhaps every desire is, in a way, an expression of love, aiming at the well-being of the being. Regardless of how well-guided or misguided, it strives to fulfill that aim.

 

Isn't it so? We come into this world absolutely dependent on the caring and love of a mother, a father, of parents or guardians. For years, we're completely helpless and reliant on the caring of love. How deep that must be, how deep that must go into our heart, this need for love. When all our desire for happiness, all our instinctual desire to be free from pain and suffering, we require to be fulfilled by another, a loving parent or guardian. This is how life has created procreation in sentient beings.

 

What a pure expression of unconditional love, unconditional compassion. As if it's the expression of life itself. How much caring, how much love and compassion we've received just to survive and to be alive, to be thriving and prospering right up to this day. Every day at the meal, we do a gratitude and appreciation reflection just to pause for a moment to recollect our good fortunes. How many auspicious circumstances are prevailing for our well-being right now? How many circumstances in the world and the participation of so many others to grow our food, to bring the food, to cook the food, everything to clothe the bodies, to build the houses, the cars, everything.

 

There's so much participation all the time, helping to care for the well-being of this being. It's not just coming from inside us, as if I could do it all by myself, is it? This helps to melt down a solid sense of separation between self and other. We see how everything has involved the cooperation, the collaboration of so many beings, just to support our most ordinary well-being. I reflect at the meal how this sort of melting down of a solid sense of self and other seems to reveal, as if revealed, or have emerged, come to the forefront.

 

These qualities of love and compassion. These kinds of insights or ways of looking and seeing or a shift in the attitude. Seeing what's right about a situation. The unification themes can enrich and enhance the sense of interconnection with other beings. And even beyond the sense of oneness with nature, with life itself. And when we see there's so much benevolence supporting us all the time, we see we actually are embraced in sort of a field of love, or an ocean of love, an ocean of sentience and love.

 

It is permeated by this universal benevolence and compassion that can help to melt our heart. Melt it, or even break it open, a heart opening. Actually, this very basic fundamental love and compassion we're receiving all the time, from ourselves, from within. Our own hearts, from others, from the hearts of others. And in a very fundamental way, from life itself. Changing the attitude changes the circumstances. Melting down the defenses. Melting down the sense of threat. This does open the heart to a childlike sense of joy, a sense of being free. Can you see those fears, those threats, those defenses? They do keep us trapped, don’t they. Melting down. We're just acknowledging, appreciating, and letting the love and compassion come to the fore.

 

Just imagine, all the 8 billion people in the world now. They have been born into this world as helpless babies, completely dependent on their parents' love and compassion. And not just for a few years until they learn to crawl, but for many, many years of selfless service and devotion to the task of nurturing that child, protecting that child. Every little decision, as it were, throughout the day, is made so that this dear child may survive, thrive, prosper, and grow up to lead a fulfilling life. For so many years, 15, 20 years, or more, continues through life. How much caring all these 8 billion babies have received. How much caring, how much love and compassion is happening all the time in the world in the most fundamental way, just to live life. Over the past hundred years, a thousand years, 10,000 years. As if life itself is the same. We act from desire, for the love of the me and the mine. A parent does not feel separate from their child. They are at one.

 

That's an archetype of love and compassion, the mother's love for her child. The Buddha used that simile too, as to how we ought to protect our own love and compassion, as if it were our only child. Even as a mother protects with her life her child, her only child, so with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings. Radiating kindness over the entire world. So, as this 'me and mine' begins to melt down... Ours. It's as if the fundamental love is being freed to express itself in a more universal way.

 

We play a little game here sometimes, where we, as if switch consciousness with our friend. As if we enter into the subjectivity of someone we feel connected to or intimate with, we explore their subjectivity. Sure, at the surface, there's a nuance of content unique and individual. But as we dive deeper, what do we find? We find so much universal experience. Being a sentient being. Feeling loved. How it feels to love and care for another. The desire to be happy, prosper, and be free. How it feels to not want pain, suffering, conflict, disharmony, threat, fear, insecurity.

 

So much universal experience and feeling we share just below the surface, the content. What can that do to open our hearts to each other? Because if we begin to care about each other in the same way we've been caring for ourselves, what is that shift? Isn't that just setting free universal love and compassion in the heart or in life itself? It can feel that way. That's where this slogan comes from that we have here, bringing ever more well-being into being, for the well-being of beings. As if that's what is the natural expression and fulfillment of the heart, of sentient beingness, when it is more free to express and fulfill.

 

Speaking of superpowers, there's the famous saying, when the power of love overcomes the love of power, then we will know peace. How wise and intelligent that simple saying might be. What happens when we make decisions based only on our selfish gain, selfish desires, selfish acquisitions, without considering the impact or the well-being of others? 

 

Look out into the world now. Even these basic five precepts, these ethical virtues and precepts we're keeping, involve considering the well-being of others before we act to see that our actions will not be harmful or put us in conflict. Certainly with others, but also with ourselves. Having conflicts arise, we conscientiously feel remorse for our actions because we know we've acted unskillfully. As they say, acting against your better judgment is all the sin there is.

 

The indigenous Americans, when they have an elders council to make an important decision, they send their vision into the future for seven generations, to see that those decisions will be for the well-being of the future generations. And the Buddha said this very often also, out of compassion for others and for future generations.

 

But actually, if I am making decisions only for my selfish gain, or for my wealth, or for my power, at the expense of others, is my quality of life increasing? What are our values and priorities? How do we measure the quality of life? So we can see how this very living in harmony with ourselves and with others, now that we’re so much more of a global humanity, absolutely requires us to be considerate of each other through our actions. So this deeper exploration of love and compassion, in our hearts, and in the hearts of others, and how it expresses itself as a great force or superpower in life, is absolutely essential.

 

And it's what the Buddha put at the forefront as the very expression and culmination of human beings, but also of the deliberate spiritual project. This alleviation of suffering. And the happiness and liberation of beings. That is the whole of the practice, and the whole of the fruits of the practice, and everything in between, nothing gets left out.

 

So, could we close with a lovely saying? There's a famous Tibetan proverb that goes, "What is the secret to a long and happy life? Eat half. Walk double. Laugh triple. And love without measure." And it's true. May the retreat yogis have fruitful practice.

PA IV Day 2 - Precepts & Continuity

 

Ajahn Buddhisaro: Okay, for starters, let's take the five precepts together. As discussed briefly the other night, these are five basic precepts foundational for practicing Buddhists, but they're of course not exclusively Buddhist. They're means for skillful conduct and avoiding unskillful conduct in an attempt to live in ethical harmony and free from conflict with fellow human beings.

 

Living in community requires agreements regarding behavior and conduct. These general five precepts are basic to many intentional communities and spiritual traditions, providing ethical guidance to not lie, cheat, steal, or kill, and avoiding substances that lead to carelessness. These are universal forms of ethical conduct common throughout many cultures and societies. Let's contemplate if our fellow humans kept these basic ethical precepts, how much avoidable suffering could be avoided?

 

So we are undertaking the precepts to abstain from harming or killing each other or fellow sentient beings. Abstaining from stealing, which includes avoiding exploitation and manipulation of property or persons. Abstaining from all sexual misconduct. Just how much trauma and violation arise from unskillful conduct in this area, causing potentially very long-lasting impacts. Abstaining from engaging in deceitful speech, harmful speech, divisive speech, and gossip or frivolous speech. Reflect for a moment on the immense significance of speech misinformation and manipulation in the world. Trust and distrust in leadership, institutions, and communities is vital in so many ways.

 

The Buddha said, one who tells a deliberate lie is a deceiver of the world, which is counter to the project of seeking truth and avoiding deceit and manipulation. These precepts are deep, vast, broad, and wide. Love is essential and natural to a sentient being, and ethical conduct is an extension of that, reflecting our care for ourselves and each other, aiming to be helpful rather than harmful. See how universal ethics are? It's about having a wisely caring relationship with ourselves and expressing our deeper heartfelt values and priorities through our actions.

 

This basic foundational virtue of intelligence becomes wisdom when it has the power to transform into action, bringing about the fulfillment of skillful intentions and aspirations. The ceremony of taking the five precepts at the beginning of a retreat is an agreement to abide by these precepts in this place, during this time, as a community, to support each other in creating a safe space and being mindful of our intentions and actions.

 

By making this agreement, we vow in front of each other, honoring this commitment and allowing it to support us in lapses of mindfulness, especially when tempted into unskillful behavior. The emphasis in the world is evidently not always on upholding a higher standard of ethics, yet ethics are profoundly important in minimizing conflict and optimizing thriving for humanity. In this ceremony, the precepts will be recited  in English, and everyone can repeat. These precepts are voluntarily undertaken for their perceived benefits, emphasizing wisdom and personal responsibility.

 

We undertake the precepts to refrain from taking life, taking that which is not given, engaging in sexual misconduct, false and harmful speech, and consuming intoxicants leading to carelessness. Virtue is the source of happiness, peace, and purity.

 

If anyone faces challenges with any precepts, please come see us, whether in keeping the precepts ourselves or if someone else has transgressed. We'll sort it out.

 

Today is a good day to introduce the theme of continuity in our meditation practice. This means carrying our meditation with us between formal sittings, into walking meditation, and various activities.

 

Let’s also review the four major intro meditation themes we’ve been presenting on. For starters, relaxation. As we’re settling in, hopefully everyone is making much of full-body-breath-mind relaxation, which makes an excellent preliminary practice. It can be combined as an initial step to our session, offering nourishment and nurturing, especially if transitioning from an active or stressful life to a quiet retreat. This relaxation meditation can help settle our nervous system, body, mind, and emotions. Feel free to spend as much time with it as needed.

 

Mindfulness of breathing, another crown jewel of meditation, allows the attention to settle on the subtle sensations of the breath. One can experiment with the breathing sensations at the upper lip or the nostrils, as well in the heart area, or with belly breathing. If the mind gets distracted, simply bring it back without fuss to the chosen sensations and keep doing that repeatedly. Keep it simple and keep it fresh.

 

Persevere with a benevolent attitude, being gentle and equanimous. Not being too tight involves avoiding craving for results or aversion to distractions, while not too loose means avoiding vagueness or drowsiness. Catching distractions as soon as possible is key to staying on track. For drowsiness, readjusting posture, energizing the body, opening the eyes, or lifting the head can be helpful. There were no questions yet about drowsiness, which is good.

 

We request everyone to share with us your chosen meditation practice or what you’re initially developing or experimenting with. We would appreciate everyone sharing their practice focus so we can know what timely elaborations to be making here. Please include that with your questions and put them in the jar, and we’ll address it more in the talks and Q&A sessions.

 

The third meditation theme, especially popular among beginners, is loving kindness and compassion. This generally evoking feelings of caring in our hearts to share with others, animals, or ourselves. We can be creative with this meditation, whether it's connected to an event that evokes our sense of caring or going deeper into our own heart sensations.

 

Presence awareness, our fourth main practice, could be both the simplest and most challenging. It's a deliberate practice of focusing on the present moment, whatever sensation we're experiencing now, or the simple sense of presence or being, or focusing on the sense of awareness itself. It involves choosing an aspect of our direct experience as the focus for each session.

 

So, we're interested in who's connecting with what practices. Establishing continuity in practice is important. Whatever practice we're connecting with can come alive when it's at the forefront of our mindstream, even in ordinary activities. Being creative in choosing a theme or combining, like starting a session with loving kindness and compassion, or perhaps mindfulness of breathing, can be excellent. Concluding sessions with a brief loving kindness and compassion, followed by a review process, is also recommended for maintaining and improving quality of intention and metacognition in our meditation practice.

 

It's a time for honest accountability regarding how dedicated we were to the task. These first few days are crucial for developing good meditation habits, especially for beginners. Setting a precedent in the early days of a retreat or our practice is important to avoid developing sloppy meditation habits. Being deliberate, honest, and accountable for how we're following instructions is vital.

 

This point is crucial if we aim to take our practice to the next level of practice integrity. It can significantly impact the correct and prompt development of our practice on this retreat. Please take the end of session discernment or reflection seriously, make notes, and aspire to improve upon them. We'll discuss this more at the Q&A.

 

So, it is somewhat challenging to know what could be relevant or timely for everyone regarding their particular practice or intention. We should all be developing skillful means to encourage ourselves. One useful approach is learning to focus on what's right about a situation rather than what's wrong. This mindset shift can be a superpower, especially when facing challenges. Some people may have a negativity bias, while others might have a positivity bias. Developing the ability to focus on what's right can be a special kind of wisdom, making the most of an opportunity.

 

Keeping a watch on our heart-mind throughout the day, if we start to complain or miss comforts and conveniences, for example, it's helpful to shift focus to what's right about the situation. Reflecting on our good fortune can be a timely skillful means too. We are fortunate to have this time set aside for self-discovery and development. Many have made sacrifices to be here, so it's important to utilize this opportunity effectively. Of course this will depend a lot on our sense of urgency and priority.

 

It's also important to remember that if we're feeling worse than yesterday, it's not necessarily a bad thing. Some of us are more self-critical or ambitious, and it's about shifting perspective to see everything as part of a natural process. There's no such thing as a wrong experience. Recognizing when the mind gets distracted is actually a victory, especially compared to our usual state. We are training the mind in focus and non-distraction, which requires patience and realistic expectations.

 

Consider, we invest so much time and energy in many aspects of our lives, like education and physical fitness. Retraining habits that we've developed over thousands of hours takes time and a special energy of activation. It's about putting energy into new habits to make them stronger than the old ones. Our behaviors and conducts are often learned from various influences, so a lot of this practice involves course-correcting these habits. It's not about striving for perfection but about being more at our best, being more true to ourselves, freeing ourselves from fixed loops of thought, and having more options to make positive responses in the moment.

 

Much of what we do is about responding to what we're experiencing right now. We try to keep our best wisdom, loving kindness, and compassion at the forefront to respond optimally to our experiences. This is an integration principle that we're focusing on in these first few days. Keeping it simple and fresh, we're starting to unify our body, speech, and mind into a meditative retreat intention and conduct.. These principles will shine forth as we integrate the practice off the cushion.

 

Keep in mind, it's better to relinquish a precept mindfully before deliberately breaking it. Resolving and keeping our word is important. Breaking our word weakens our self-confidence and self-esteem. Keeping precepts or our word can build self-confidence and the ability to manifest intentions. It's about being a student of life, learning from our heart and mind. Every situation can be an opportunity to learn and develop skills in response to life as it’s happening in real time.

 

Every experience is an opportunity to learn and develop skills to transform. Some teachers focus more on practice than formal study, emphasizing learning directly from the heart and mind, learning directly from experience itself. Keeping a balanced approach, not getting too excited when things go well or too dejected when facing challenges, is essential for sustainability in practice. There's beauty and ability to learn in all experiences.

 

Sustainability is crucial, both in a retreat and in daily life practice. For example, in mindfulness of breathing, maintaining equanimity amidst pleasant sensations or distractions allows for deeper practice. This ability to be present and appreciative carries over to emotional content and reactions in daily life. Sharing refined observations in Q&A sessions can provide insights for tailored feedback.

 

We started by undertaking the five precepts, contemplating their profundity and universal benevolence in the human heart. We discussed four basic meditation themes: full body-breath-mind relaxation, mindfulness of breathing, loving kindness and compassion meditation, and presence awareness. We encourage exploring these themes, or others familiar to us as retreat practitioners, as we endeavor to deepen our practice. In concluding, we remind everyone to maintain continuity of practice during the walking session and throughout the retreat.

PA IV Day 5 - Impermanence & Now

 

Ajahn Buddhisaro: Is everyone here? Are we here? Are we here now? As a fun New Year's Day talk, we thought it would be enjoyable to discuss impermanence, change, the ever-fresh arisings in the timeless now, and such. To make it more engaging, we thought it would be fun if, during the talk, you could ask questions in your mind. If they don't get answered during the talk, we can discuss them in interviews or at the Q&A session. It's a way to make the talk more interactive and engaging. So, how does that sound? Alright, what do we have to say about change? Very nice. Empty mind.

 

Let's start by considering what if there was no change? Could we experience anything at all? Imagine that—no change whatsoever. It might be easier to understand this with the five senses, which operate based on change, contrast, and variation. We have five senses: seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching. And then there's our sixth sense— the mind sense and consciousness, which involves thinking, feeling, and synthesizing our experiences as a whole. This is particularly apparent when our heart and mind are calm and clear in a contemplative space. It's self evident and obvious, in a certain sense, that everything is changing all the time.

 

It's easy to notice with sound, right? Sound and speech work in a way where one syllable leads to the next syllable, one word to the next, one sentence to the next, and so on. It's like a flow of sensations that are ever-changing. Even the simple tick-tock of the clock. Or the fluctuating roar, pop, and crackle of the fire. It's as if nature is speaking for itself, saying, "I am of the nature to change." As sensations arise in our sense consciousness, they speak of nature's change. This morning's reflection focused on an appreciation of the ever-new, ever-fresh, ever-now arisings. Can we ever be certain what will arise next? In the next moment, does it seem to emerge out of the unknown, arise out of the mystery, into the knowing?

 

And then what happens? From the knowing, it appears to subside back into the same space, the same mystery from which it came, courteously yielding to the next sensation that arises. Oh, what a magical appreciation of sensations, of happenings, as if for the first time. This is the very first time, isn't it? Maybe there's something special about the now. We might call it “the very first time”. This is one perspective where impermanence doesn't diminish our experiences but, in some sense, celebrates them. Like in that William Blake poem, “One who binds to oneself a joy, does the winged life destroy. But one who kisses the joy as it flies, lives in eternity’s sunrise.” Or, more bluntly, would we be having any experience at all if it wasn't for change? Maybe that's likewise the magic of the mind, especially when it's in union with the now is the knowing. See how wonderfully complementary these are? Two amazing functionalities of our experience. Manifest happenings in time—past, future, present, and this very unique dimension of the timeless now. The union and unification of time and the timeless. What are the implications of this?

 

As this kind of contemplation begins to enter into our awareness, how does it start to shift our relationship with our experience? How does it begin to change our appreciation of being fully present in anything and everything we're experiencing? Perhaps this contemplation, this insight, as it starts to sink in and open our minds and hearts, begins to shift the grip of the past on our present. Even just loosening that grip a bit can ease the rope burn.

 

Every instance of releasing grasping, releasing tension, is a relaxation into the present moment. It's very likely an enhanced and enriched appreciation, perhaps acceptance, of the present moment. There's a very blissful at easeness and contentment waiting to reveal itself to us when this preoccupation or even obsession with the past begins to subside. As well when this preoccupation, even obsession, with the future begins to subside. A whole new dimension of appreciation and even spontaneous response opens up in relation to what we're experiencing here, right now.

 

Traditionally, this contemplation and reflection on impermanence is designed to simply open our eyes a bit more into the nature of the way things are, understanding and appreciating the nature of time and change. Seeing how things and situations arise out of causes and conditions. They're sustained, they change and subside or pass away along with those causes and conditions.

 

So, this contemplation of impermanence and change is often presented along with a contemplation of interconnection and dependent origination, the interrelational interdependence of everything amidst the causes and conditions. More and more we can keep the bigger picture in mind. Now that we've been meditating for several days, it might be very clear to us how changeable things are, especially in our own minds, in our own hearts. Things which we felt quite certain of yesterday might be quite uncertain today.

 

Or we may outright disagree with what we previously felt or knew, or are at least in the process of reevaluating. Who knows? Maybe some of us, before the retreat, were thinking, "Oh, this is a very good idea." Then by day five, we're thinking, "Oh, maybe this was not such a good idea." Of course, that's a whimsical example. Perhaps some of us, with the opening of our mind and heart, and the sensitization, are really going deep to perhaps reevaluate what our deeper values and priorities are. Getting deeper insight and meaning into how we understand ourselves, how we relate to ourselves. What are the issues that are actually influencing our quality of life, our quality of experience, from moment to moment, from day to day, in both minor and very major ways.

 

Some of us have begun to inquire into our sense of self. Who or what do we regard as our identity? Or what are we identifying with? This body, it's easy to see how it's changing all the time. From the moment of conception, there's not a single cell in the body that's standing still. The body by nature is undergoing transformation all the time. From its very conception to its very last drop in heartbeat, it's changing all the time. As if one time, it was not incarnate, and it came into this incarnation. Along the way, it's built up from the elements and from the food. What is this body made of? Oh, how interesting. It's made of this very earth, the earth element. It's made of this very water. It's made up of this very heat, the energy, like the sun, like fire. And like the wind and the oxygen. And all this is taking place in space and in our consciousness.

 

So these contemplations are designed to help us keep the big picture in mind. We are identifying with the body as 'me' and 'mine’. A body is impermanent, is conditioned, is made of elements, made of food. It comes from the world, it returns to the world. This is the nature of a body. Sometimes it's changing in ways we like, like if we have been sick, or ill, or injured, and we're healing, or becoming healthy again. Sometimes it changes in ways we don’t like and it becomes sick, or we have an injury, or perhaps with aging itself.

 

So, keeping the big picture in mind, including that this body is a conditioned phenomenon. It's of a nature to change according to causes and conditions. Imagine if bodies didn't die. How many would there be on Earth now? Much more than 8 billion. What if the bodies, when they died, didn't return to the earth element, or to ashes, and they didn't recycle and repurpose? Why, there'd be too many! See how contemplating change and impermanence in this way is pleasing and appeasing to the heart and mind. It seems to encourage being in harmony with nature.

 

So, what are the implications of this? How does this loosen up a sense of identity or grasping? How does it open up a flow state? To appreciate the changing causes and conditions. As a complementary contemplation, we're giving special care and observation to subtle changes, discerning the subtle shifts in sensations and sense consciousness. This includes more explicit and dynamic events in our feelings, whether they're accompanied by emotions or mind states.

 

Complementary to this, we're inquiring into what, among all the changing sensations, remains unchanged. For now, we may ask ourselves: What is the least changeable thing we can discern in our present moment experience? Or, conversely, what is the most changeless aspect of our experience? Consider the sense of knowing or awareness itself, not as an object or sensation, which we've already agreed are changeable. But what about the pure sense of knowing itself? Are there any fluctuations there? Perhaps it is increasingly revealed as stillness, an inquiry into our direct experience. To some extent, it requires a shift from thinking into knowing.

 

What about the now, the sense of the now? What are we discovering about it? Does the sense of now seem to change, or does it only seem to go away when we start thinking about the past or the future? Consider the pure sense of presence itself, of being itself. These two fundamental features of our experience seem to co-create the dimension of the here and now, where all experiences arises.

 

Have we been able to dip into that fundamental dimension yet? Or tune into it? Or discover it? Recognize it? Or even realize it? This realization of this fundamental dimension of our being and experience, how does it complement the dimension of time, the dimension of change? Sensations come and go, arising and passing. Thoughts change from day to day. Are these feelings and emotions conditioned, ever-changing? What about the experiencer, the one who knows the coming and going, the changing of experience? We wish everyone fruitful practice.

PA IV Day 8 - Integration

 

Ajahn Buddhisaro: Okay, everyone's here. Welcome to sunny day eight of our retreat. A friendly reminder: please participate in the group sits and try to come on time. We've posted a new schedule for this phase three, the reflection and integration phase of the retreat. We'll return to our initial structure of group practice, but we'll also continue with the morning interview slots. What do we hear when we go into deep listening? As all the action and activities begin to settle, a deeper space of silence and stillness can open up. This is conducive for deep listening and is a divine design of meditation to open us up and tune us in to perhaps a deeper revelation about what we feel, what we know, and what we understand about ourselves, as well as what we don't understand.

 

Self-understanding, self-discovery, self-love. This is the perfect time to begin deep reflection and contemplation on the insights we've had during the retreat. It's vital to reflect on the experiences, learnings, and insights we've been having and to consider their implications for our life, our quality of life, our well-being, and being true to ourselves. 

 

How do we bring about genuine happiness and fulfillment? Let's just say deeper, more meaningful happiness and fulfillment. And how might we integrate this into our life? What are the implications? Perhaps, or perhaps changes we'd like to make. For some of us, it could be even quite major, calls to reevaluate our career goals, our core life values, and how we're being true to that, and expressing that in action.

 

Remember, many of these insights will simply fade away if we don't integrate them into action. That's what activates the insight, brings it alive, and makes it fruitful. So we've all been sharing our wonderful insights with each other on the street. Now is a good time to go into some deep reflection and contemplation about how they'll be meaningful in our day-to-day life and how we may wish to prioritize our spiritual practice in our daily life.

 

It's important to give ourselves encouragement. For many of us on this retreat, we may have already made significant changes in our daily lives. Notice how, with group support, we've been able to change habits. This is empowering. We're not just learning how to meditate, but how to have resolve and shift into more skillful habits. Encouraging ourselves in this way is important because self-esteem and self-confidence are crucial to our ability to follow through. 

 

Maybe what we're actually feeling is a deeper sense of being true to ourselves. Sometimes, this means stepping away from the mainstream, from the behaviors of others, our friends, or our society. It's about having the confidence to make decisions that challenge our former habits and feeling good about ourselves. It's rewarding to follow through on something that is both for ourselves and the right thing to do.

 

This retreat may be a perfect example of this. For many, especially if it's their first retreat, it can be quite heroic. Facing many challenges requires heroic perseverance, showing up every day to meet and greet these challenges. Isn't this a valuable life skill? Staying true to a value when it's being challenged is what these precepts help us to do. They give us guidelines and structure for the changes we'd like to make. Each instance we stay true to something deeper within ourselves builds our self-confidence and self-esteem.

 

As the saying goes, drop by drop, we fill a bucket. It becomes a superpower, like honesty, being true to oneself, or the superpower of follow-through. If we're overambitious, that's okay. The superpower of self-honesty, acting on better judgment, and being true to ourselves can open up new possibilities. To be who we feel we are deep inside, to live the life we want to live.

 

We're potentially learning many skills on a retreat like this, not just how to meditate or maintain non-distraction. For some, it's a crash course in communal harmony, being considerate of others, yielding our own preferences, or even learning to surrender a sense of control. Exploring or experimenting with these can be quite novel for some. There are pros and cons, but it's a new degree of freedom to be flexible and adaptable. These are life skills or even superpowers that can serve us in ever surprising new ways.

 

What if you could have anything you want? What would it be? Go ahead and have it. It's a little thought experiment. What if you could be whoever you want to be? Go ahead and be that. What do I want? Okay. Suppose I get it. Now what? Does it deliver? But to what extent does it deliver? How does that open up new possibilities or seeking a higher happiness or fulfillment? It's just fine to have short-term goals, micro-goals, micro-practices, stepwise. 

 

What if I could change any habit that I want? Easier said than done, but what if? What is it inside us or outside us that tells us we can't do it? No one's sitting here with a sword to our head saying we have to get enlightened, or we have to be happy, or we have to be free from suffering. Something has to come from within. That we're not satisfied with that, or we want more. They do tell us to want the highest, that we are destined for greatness. That is the archetype of enlightenment, actually. The highest actualization of what our potentiality is.

 

But life is okay, even if our aspirations aren't that grandiose yet. Or if we're just not the type to seek the ultimate experience of being, yet. What is the highest adventure this life has to offer? That's fine too. It really has to come from a change of heart, step by step. Life is okay either way. It really depends on us, on what we aspire for, what our deeper desires are. So, what are they? And what if we could fulfill them? We can. We're all very fortunate here, very free to follow our hearts, our ambitions, our aspirations.

 

It's definitely not the case for many people in the world. This freedom to be able to follow their heart, to have their basic sustenance needs met, this hierarchy of needs. We have so many fortunate circumstances. Look, we're all still relatively healthy, fortunate and gifted in so many ways. Well-educated, well-mannered, good sense of humor, perhaps. All very auspicious circumstances indeed. A launch pad to live the life we want to lead. That's gratitude. That's appreciation. It is a superpower, knowing how to make the most of an opportunity. That's a very special kind of wisdom. But it may be an even higher form of wisdom, seeing the inherent peace and freedom, which is already here. So, it could be a both-and.

 

As we emphasized last night, this thing about going out into the world or being dependent on others for comfort, for gratification, or even feeling a victim of circumstances, and how many of these insights which open our mind and heart actually give us a sense of real autonomy. That we have a sense of gratification here inside, not contingent on manipulating circumstances. For some of us, that is a revelation, freedom to discover or to develop. And again, step by step, it doesn't happen all at once, but just to know the possibility can be refreshing, to have this option, to have an inner refuge.

 

Imagine if you could do that, just as if, be in nondistraction, as you please. Well, that is the promise of meditation, eventually, with good, sincere training. We don't just pick up a piano and expect to play Mozart, do we? Or Yo-Yo Ma. That's why we call it a practice. But imagine that. Having the option to be free from distraction and absolutely present and aware. Or to have a first response to virtually anything be from love and compassion. Is that a superpower? Imagine just having the values and priorities so clear that they're always at the forefront, guarding our spontaneous action and response to situations as they come up.

 

They're there, they're solid, and they yield. What a simplification it is to be free from doubt, from hesitation, from always calculating. Should I do this? Should I do that? How to avoid dukkha, how to avoid suffering, how to get happy. Being free from all that, just feeling a sense of alignment, unified intent, our best love and wisdom at the forefront of the heart and mind, guiding our experience, guiding our relationship to ourselves, to each other, to the magical world of events.

 

All this is the project of practice and hopefully, we've been getting a deep dive or at least glimpses into this kind of freedom which is possible and gives us the options. It's okay to be distracted now and then if you want, but it's totally different when you have the option. It's a bit like starving if you have no food or doing a health fast for a detox. It's an option. Or who knows, maybe you do want to get a little bit angry or assertive at times, because you need to show some tough love, like a wise and caring parent. That's okay. But it's a different matter altogether if it's coming from wisdom and love primarily. That's an option we can have.

 

Developing a deeper understanding, deeper insights into our heart and mind. These are the kinds of insights we want to treasure because they will serve us. It's hard to know, hard to forecast or speculate too much until we put it into action and start seeing, getting the benefits for ourselves. That's when the real confidence and conviction comes. We see it again and again through our direct experience. And then you realize, 'Hey, this is perpetuating my confusion, my reactivity, my triggering, my suffering.' You'll want to let it go. It's not serving. 'Hey, this is inhibiting, hindering, preventing my further happiness, gratification, fulfillment, joy, exuberant joy, being free.' It's inhibiting that. You want to let it go. 

 

That's an instinct we have inside. It's not a rationalization; it's an instinct we have. This is what we mean by being true to the heart, to feel and act on those instincts. May the yogis have fruitful practice, deep listening, and contemplation. Okay, we'll begin interviews.

PA IV Day 3 - Meditation Overview

 

Ajahn Buddhisaro: Continuing from last night's discussion, today's talk will give a general overview of meditation, mindfulness, attention, and awareness.  We'll try to balance theory and practice in our discussion. So, what is meditation? It has gained much global popularity, significantly so since the Dalai Lama's collaboration with the science and education community starting in the 80s. On this retreat, we aim to broaden our understanding of meditation, not just as a Buddhist or spiritual practice towards liberation, but to include universal and secular themes as well.

 

Meditation, as I was introduced to it, is both the art and science of understanding our own and each others heart and mind, and developing skillful qualities, virtues, and states. How does this resonate with us? Is this how we were introduced to meditation? Is this what brought us here? Being a student or learner, to understand the nature of one's heart and mind, is absolutely essential to the meditation project. In monastic life, meditation is always integrated with virtue, ethics, wisdom, and insight, and presented as a holistic eightfold path of practice or a way of life. 

 

The integration of practical examples and tips alongside the theory is perfect. Monasticism was established as a program for those who want to engage in immersive, intensive training in an integrated style of life development through meditation. It's a bit of an artificial distinction because many lay practitioners also engage in hybrid versions of monastic and lay life. Dharma centers and meditation centers are set up for intensive training, just like what we're doing here for these 10 days.

 

Some will be very inspired and see wonderful benefits, wanting to repeat the experience or engage in longer retreats, making it a larger part of their life. Intentional monastic and lay Dharma center communities are all about promoting and sponsoring this kind of training or education for interested practitioners. My background in education and my father being a science teacher influenced my view of meditation as an essential component of education. We see problems and conflicts in the world and wonder what the solution is. A lot of the solutions have to do with good quality education, nurture and being correctly informed.

 

Meditation, including mindfulness-based stress reduction, is now presented as a life skill, a way to make the mind more calm, clear, responsive, and less reactive. These are essential life skills. The cognitive aspect involves performance skills or being in the flow for optimum performance, while the emotional side is about self-care, understanding emotional and prosocial dynamics, and empowerment through learning and life skill development for optimal functioning.

 

Discovering that the mind is often distracted, going into the past or future, worrying about the present in unnecessary ways, is a key part of meditation and insight training. Taking self responsibility and developing positive self transformation is so empowering. One of my initial inspirations in college psychology was understanding the subtle agendas of the mind in relationships. Realizing I was not at all free, but quite the victim of circumstances and conditioned reactions felt very disempowering and unsatisfactory to me. But meditation presents the opportunity to look inside, develop understanding, and have options for new virtues to blossom.

 

Meditation delivers on every point, allowing us to see with more space and clarity. When we gain space, we unhook from the mind, giving us a new perspective on thoughts and emotions. With mindfulness and the basic skill of encouraging the mind not to be so flighty or clingy, we gain clarity and objectivity. We can see underlying motivations or agendas of our thoughts and emotions that may not serve us anymore. We certainly do tend to find that outdated coping strategies are just not serving anymore. Meditation when well developed is a super power for gaining insight and transforming habitual tendencies and underlying motives in skilful ways.

 

Indeed, meditation is a very different kind of education rather than just acquiring information. Meditation retreats like this introduce us to the three pillars of practice: virtuous ethics, meditation, and wisdom. These pillars unify into one form of education and practice. Fundamental skills in meditation, such as being present and aware, noticing distractions, and returning to the meditation object, whether it's the breath, body scanning, or loving kindness, are essential. These skills are like muscles that strengthen with practice. The attitude we bring to our practice greatly influences its dynamics. Appreciating these insights can radically alter our engagement with meditation, making it both interesting and instructive.

 

One simile I liked when I was introduced to mindfulness of breathing was potty training a puppy. Like training a puppy, when the mind gets distracted, we bring it back gently and with care, not with frustration. Over time, the puppy learns, just as our mind learns through this kind of patient and compassionate training. I love the simile of returning our attention to meditation without making a fuss or beating ourselves up. It's not a failure; we've simply gone into distraction and need to bring it back. That's all. Another nice simile is feeding a baby. Sometimes you have to coax the baby to take the food. This brings a sense of benevolence or compassionate intent to the whole project of training the mind, which can work wonders. For those feeling a bit forceful or anxious about training the mind, bringing in that element of compassion can really help.

 

In these first few days, we've been settling in, relaxing into the routine. Many of us may already feel extraordinary transformation happening from maintaining noble silence in body, speech, and mind. Letting go of too much thought about the past or future, and being in a routine where not much thinking is required, provides ideal conditions for the mind to settle. This repetition in the early days and stages, like learning musical scales, is part of the learning process. We're noticing our diligent training is paying off and our mind is beginning to cooperate, resting on the chosen object of meditation, and that's very good.

 

Our retreat is much more moderate than certain other popular ten-day meditation retreats out there, which can be almost militant in their structure and discipline. However, this retreat, while somewhat structured, is more relaxed. Although initially challenging for most beginners, we should remain optimistic. We will surely improve the quality of our mindful awareness, and its clarity and stability. Many of us are sure to be having revelations and breakthroughs, as happens through earnest meditation retreat practice, and how they will integrate into our lives, our virtues, actions, intelligence, and wisdom. Yes indeed, during the first retreat, often, because of the beginner's mind, revelations occur. Stay optimistic about that.

 

Now, about the "puppy training" of placing our attention and the attitude we have toward it. Initially, it may seem like we need to micromanage our attention, creating a lot of concentration and tension. Just like learning scales on a musical instrument or the initial difficulty of chemistry class, oh boy. With good instructions and practice, everything becomes more fluent and effortless. The same of course applies to developing meditation skills. Gradually, we'll need less micromanaging as our metacognitive awareness improves, allowing us to supervise and make timely adjustments as needed and promptly.

 

After a while it’s more a matter of simply observing and supervising the process more efficiently. Like holding a cup of water; initially, it may be unsteady, but when you set it down, the water settles naturally. Some of us may be ready to experiment with this, sort of easing off of intention and attention. Try it in your next session, either walking or sitting. Direct your mindful awareness toward the object or theme of meditation and ease off a bit on the intention and attention.

 

Mindfulness and awareness can be technical terms, but let's start with a practical working definition. Mindfulness means being present and knowing what we are experiencing, so a combination of specific attention and contextual awareness. Sometimes mindfulness emphasizes the object of attention. For instance, focusing on the sensation in your right big toe while being aware of other sensations in your periphery. This helps us explore the relationship between attention and awareness, where attention is more focused on the object, while awareness is global and supervisory. It's like a parent watching their child play. The child's attention is on the toy, while the parents attention is on the child. As long as the child is not in danger, the parent merely observes and supervises.

 

As we aim for more continuity in our meditation, especially during activities like mealtime, we should explore the balance between attention and awareness. While focusing on a particular task, be aware of the context and watch the mind and emotions. This is a practical way to learn about and understand the specific, yet overlapping functions of mindfulness, attention, and awareness, and how they work together in fostering a continuous practice throughout all our daily activities.

 

To summarize, in our discussion we explored meditation through the major functions of mindfulness, attention, and awareness. Also how we have nuanced engagement with ourselves, our emotions and in relationships. How the primary task for every meditation practitioner is learning, being an attentive and receptive student, and allowing our hearts and minds to be our teachers. Let's put these principles into practice with good intention and continuity during the next half-hour walking session.

PA IV Day 6 - Self & Nonself

 

Ajahn Buddhisaro: Our sick friend who's been under quarantine for several days has been very agreeable and cooperative. He reports being snot and sneeze free for some time and is requesting to be readmitted into the sangha. If we all agree, I welcome him back. And with that, we now have our quorum of 13, all in good health, which is wonderful. Perhaps our precautionary measures have helped maintain this health. Also, a small announcement: we've scaled down interviews to just four slots. We appreciate everyone's enthusiasm, but please ensure others have a chance to sign up as well. Maybe wait till after the talk to sign up and see if there are available slots.

 

For openers, one of my favorite reflections is seeing the sense of self as a creation of life itself and an expression of nature – our nature, the nature, the totality of nature. This was one of my earliest insights into Eastern spirituality and philosophy.

 

As a college student studying desert ecology, we'd go down to the deserts and sit around a fire under the starry sky, reading from the Tao Te Ching, an ancient Chinese spiritual classic. It's nature-centric, composed of intuitive poems, not overly philosophical. They speak as if from nature to nature. That period was a time of accelerated discovery for me, reigniting my love of learning and nature, instilled in me by my father, a science teacher. My dad even sent me a book, "The Tao of Physics" by Fritjof Capra, which was impactful in the 70s, exploring the convergence of Eastern spirituality and Western science.

 

This book, along with sitting under the stars, reading the Tao Te Ching, sparked a realization in me. Like the Joni Mitchell song implies, "We are stardust. We are golden. We are billion-year-old carbon,” an experience of cosmic oneness became me. So I’ve been quoting William Blake and Joni Mitchell here, but this realization struck me profoundly. The scientific hypothesis is that elements like carbon are born from star explosions. Our bodies are made from this  stardust. It was a moment of mystical unification, a realization of our deep connection with nature.

 

That was my first real insight, the realization that humans are not separate from nature. It could make rational or intellectual sense to us, but to have that feeling of oneness, interconnection, or unification is a very special thing that comes with not only a mind opening but also a heart opening, not feeling separate. So, that initial insight is very much in line with the nondual traditions that want to include everything and don't want to exclude anything, or necessarily blame other things for our suffering or problems.

 

It's a radical approach of looking inward and taking responsibility. Perhaps it is our innocent ignorance, confusion, or misunderstanding about the nature of nature here that leads to disharmony with it, a disharmonious relationship with it. So, we will be quite familiar with that theme by now, that our suffering has to do with some misguided, perhaps innocently so, but disharmonious relationship with our experience, our nature, or even this more core, central issue of our sense of self.

 

As an eager student, I was doing interdisciplinary studies in college. It was interesting, like if you did philosophy, you had to take a metaphysics course, like on self and not-self, that kind of thing. So you got to explore how great philosophical traditions or thinkers would contemplate the nature of a self and what that means, an autonomous self, and also along the lines of like a collective or a society, an anthropological kind of source of self, or creation of self.

 

It's interesting, and some of us newer to Buddhism may be unaware, but it's very Buddhist 101 to be looking at things as a process. Sometimes, you'll hear us say it's a conditioned phenomenon, but we're also using this term co-creation to show how things are co-arising and co-creating as a process. This helps to dissolve or melt down the concrete objectification or reification of how things are, and look at how they're actually a process.

 

As we begin to discern more subtle elements of that co-creation process, we radically reinterpret what we're experiencing and shift our relationship to it in the process. These are very excellent, experiential proofs of concept of how this can work, even at much deeper levels. So, yes, a few points on this. I was also studying it through neuroscience, which back then as now was very interested in where the sense of self is in the brain or the mind.

 

While there is no naive CEO, there's no executive processing in the brain or mind, just many different regions contributing. Then they would extend that principle into evolutionary biology and say, "Oh, well, look, here's a sense of self. It starts to arise when you get a cell membrane." This is very popular these days, too, as they're returning to cell biology to learn how to integrate AI with bio substrates and things like that. They're just saying, as soon as a cell gets a membrane, it becomes separate from its environment and begins to devise strategies about what self and other are, and how to relate to the environment.

 

That's probably when the very basic sensation or feeling starts to arise. This is a positive feeling with a positive valence, go towards it, maybe you can eat it. A feeling with negative valence, it's a hostile stimulus, avoid it. So, even doing some fascinating evolutionary biology, you can get very rational hypotheses of how a sense of self begins to develop and become more central to one's sense of agency and how one's relating to one's environment.

 

Especially so when you start to be more of a social being, like a social species in communities. Many Asian communities still have traditional structures, like an extended family, where everyone in your neighborhood, you'll call them auntie and uncle, whether you're related or not. And all the children, well, they get passed around from lap to lap because they're everyone's children, especially in more rural Asian communities.

 

So, they have a collective sense of self and much less autonomy and agency. It's very clear from that cultural or societal structure that everyone is interconnected, interrelated. And so they have more of a collective sense of self. It's quite a curious thing. One of our teacher's similes was, when you get this kind of communal sense of self, there can be quite a bit of harmony and cooperation. Like a millipede, a little insect where all the legs are moving, but they don't trip over each other. They move together, a millipede.

 

As mentioned, inherent in many indigenous communities we were studying in college, and what was emerging at the time as a new scientific theory called Gaia, was showing how life is actually one evolving system. You cannot take anything in abstraction out of it. Even just things like a body being born from stardust or emerging from the earth, or the oxygen in the air being produced by plants and sea algae. So you actually have an interconnected system where you cannot abstract one part out of it. And how much more so minds and cultures.

 

It just doesn't work. This sort of Gaian theory, I'm sure, was the inspiration that opened up that initial insight for me with ecology and cosmic oneness. But also, like with neuroscience, there's no actual entity of self in the mind or the brain, just many processes that create a kind of dynamic which gives almost a holographic sense of self, or a matrix simulation, if you will. Yeah, that's interesting. And then in the realm of philosophy and psychology, they really go a bit deeper into exploring how self is created psychologically, like through childhood and adulthood, and what our society does, what we inherit as to who we're supposed to be, what our self-image is, what our obligations are to others, these kinds of things, which are very social, psychological structures.

 

Yes, which does very much highlight that this is a co-creation event of who we are. I recall that the word 'persona' comes from the Greek, like 'per' and 'sona'. 'Sona' is sound and 'per' means across. So it was like the mask that the actors used to use on stage, this persona. So how much of our identity is a self-image that we put up front because of psychological or societal obligations? This is very much starting to go into the deeper process of creation of the self, where it serves, where it doesn't seem to serve, where it's functional or where it does show up as a more superficial identity regarding who and what we are. Or if that's the whole of it – this body, this mind, these memories, where is the person that we were 10 years ago?

 

The ancient, especially Asian spiritual traditions, have always placed the concept of self at the core of their religious and spiritual pursuit. They seem to take it for granted that the self has to be eternal or unchanging or absolute in some sense. So, it's already a given that anything transient or coming and going can't really be the true 'me' or 'mine'. Like, was this just a short-term rental agreement we had? Many discussions begin at quite a subtle or sophisticated level because they all agree that things which are transient do not qualify as a real 'me' and 'mine'.

 

Besides the existential desire to live in eternal bliss, which is intrinsic to the project of self-discovery and self-transcendence, these discussions delve into the nature of the self. The nature of the inquiry or investigation into the self varies depending on our familiarity with the discussion or how much we've looked into it ourselves. Many of the comments we're sharing now are more like opening inquiries for us to begin to look into it. They will all begin with looking at what are called the five foundations of identity, or the five aggregates.

 

This is a classic, ancient spiritual method of looking into the body as a sense of identity and to what extent it is 'me' or 'mine'. We're not necessarily asserting self, but through inquiry, almost like a scientist, we're investigating to what extent this can be my sense of self or identity. It's an important point that we're not asserting a doctrine; it's an investigation for us to be looking into our direct experience.

The relationship with these different aggregates or structures of our being, of our experience.

 

The first one is the body, as we've discussed. The second one is the feelings, at the very basic level, the sense of something being positive or pleasant, or unpleasant or negative. The very basic tone or affect of a sensation. The third one is memories, our memory content, which definitely includes our history, our self-story, and all the narratives we tell ourselves. Just pause for a moment and try to tell us something about yourself, not from memory. Is there anything we can say about ourselves that’s not from memory? Investigating what actually does the memory content consist of, like what we've learned, how we recognize things, and the cultural conditioning and language. Does this say I'm a clock? Or do we add recognition, experience, and labels to the pure experience of it?

 

Maybe our sense of self or personhood has a similar process occurring. Be observant of that process and we'll begin to see it. How some sort of experience arises, then a memory content gets associated with it, then a particular feeling associated with that memory content arises, then particular desires or agendas to want to promote a positive feeling or seek gratification in that sensation or situation. Or maybe it's the other way around, maybe the memory content from that particular situation is negative, and it's potentially threatening from a prior experience we are associating with it.

 

And so, there'll be a desire of wanting to avoid that, to minimize it, or to get rid of it. You see, a sense of self begins to arise: "I want this, how do I promote the situation?" or "I don't want this, how do I avoid the situation?" A classic way in which an inquiry into our sense of self can reveal it as a process, like a co-creation event, a construct arising from contact with sensations and situations to memory feelings associated with those memories, certain desires or intentions that arise from that, and a sense of self to engage in the world, for better or for worse.

 

There's not a judgment there, it's just more of an observation that we can have, going into a bit more subtle discernment regarding our processes. For me, this was absolutely fascinating, coming from psychology, philosophy, and neuroscience to actually be seeing a world of experience cocreating before our eyes, so to speak. For some of us, that may be very interesting and indeed it is empowering.

 

The more we begin to understand, the more we can move away from just blind identification with it and then being the victim of those circumstances, compelled to act on those desires. For any habitual or existential fears, a lot of space arises. That kind of more experiential discernment of our experience with this kind of metacognition, paying attention to the process, can really reveal a lot about how we're co-creating our experience. So that's a bit more of an especially Buddhist understanding of a process of self-creation.

 

But it will be unambiguous when that sense of separate self dissolves, and there's just pure knowing or pure awareness there. That question won't arise anymore, and the nature will speak for itself. Look at the person we were 10 years ago. What about all these experiences we've had for the past 10 years? How many do we remember? How many anxieties, desires, disappointments, fears came and went in that time? Where are the ones that aren't remembered? Who do they belong to now?

 

What about the person we are today? What will that look like in 10 years? Remember, yesterday was tomorrow two days ago. And tomorrow will be yesterday in two days. Perhaps we're beginning to see this inherently changeable nature of experience. Maybe that's inherent in the nature of experience or experiencing itself. The traditions are looking into what is the thread of continuity that we feel in our heart as a sense of self? What was there during those transient, changeable experiences 10 years ago?

 

What is here right now during these experiences? What do we presume will be there in ten years? The experiencer? Or what is this awareness that observes all the experiencing? Maybe this awareness even sees the person as another experience arising into its knowing right now. Anything that we can discern, that's actually an object of our knowing. Can't we see the thoughts in that way, or hear them? Can't we feel the feelings in that way? The traditions are pointing to something more fundamental.

 

Remember, what is the most changeless thing in our experience? Perhaps the sense of pure awareness that we realized yesterday has the same taste today. What about that sense of pure being or pure presence? How changeable is that? See how that's pointing us back to the experiencer, not being all fascinated with the content. We'll never find our source of self through the objects of knowing. We must turn the inquiry to know the knower, to seek the source of subjectivity.

 

If we're interested and recognize how profound the implications can be, how liberating to loosen the grip, the grasping, the identification with more transient, superficial self stuff. Shifting to the more fundamental. Look, the sense of caring has been with us the whole time. At least that should be a clue where to look. Ever since we've come into this world, not wanting suffering, wanting to be happy. That seems constant, doesn’t it? The content changes, but the desire seems to persist, we find it right here right now.

 

So these are pointers that we get from the traditions who are seeking the source of subjectivity, to look into the pure sense of being, awareness, the pure knowing, and the pure sense of loving or caring. These are pointers about where to inquire, seeking the source of self, seeking the source of subjectivity, seeking the nature of our nature or the nature of nature itself. May all the retreat yogis have fruitful practice. We'll start with interviews in five minutes.

PA IV Day 9 - Home Retreat

 

Ajahn Buddhisaro: Okay, welcome to day nine Dharma talk. We've got another surprise today, a silent lake walk over to the island. It's a walking meditation, optional for anyone who'd like to join. We'll do that after the talk. Depending on what time we get back, we can adjust any interviews. How does that sound? A little head nod, or maybe some of you are eager to go. I've been observing the walking meditation and playfulness on the lake. Today, I even thought I saw a deer running across.

 

Continuing with some reflections on the retreat... The actual process, where we sort of dip into this somewhat of a time warp over the past 10 days. Initially, the retreat coordinators weren't sure about handling the overbooking of 14 people for the house here, among other logistics. Then we had this epiphany – let's not overthink it. Let's just do it, keep positivity at the forefront, and let everything work itself out. And indeed, it seems, for the most part, everything has been very smooth. That's an understatement. 

 

Many of us have traveled from far and wide. Many of us are meeting for the first time. It's interesting to come from another side of the world, a whole other life, group of friends, family, and meet here for the first time. That's quite a dynamic. Many of us are on our first retreat. Maybe we didn't really know what we were getting into, despite searching and scrolling to see, 'What am I getting myself into?' And depending on your search bias, it could go either way.

 

So what a sense of adventure to travel, even from across the country, or from a neighboring country, from a distant land. We all, in one way or another, probably really came into this with a real sense of adventure, an open mind, an open heart to what we might experience. We knew there'd be challenges as well. So that's quite an exciting space to meet and come together for a little 10-day adventure like this.

 

I'm still appreciating the kind of mind space or heart state it takes to come to a retreat like this, especially if it's your first time. My New Year's resolution was to think outside the box, get out of my comfort zone, embrace the sense of adventure. Looking back, that's what opened up a whole new dimension of life for me when I was a college student. As I mentioned in the booklet, my mantra was, 'Conditions are favorable. Go for it.' My sister gifted me a trip for my graduation and birthday. She said, 'Let's go anywhere in the world you want.' I chose India, which surprised her. She was thinking of places like Paris or Egypt, but she agreed, and we went to India together.

 

It was amazing. From the time of the gift to our departure around Christmas, I pondered daily what I was doing. Was I going to come back and continue with my Ph.D. program, or not return? I remember getting up each morning, looking at my bookshelf, and questioning my decision. Three months in, one morning, I just knew I was going. It led to an accelerated project of getting out of student debt, liquidating assets, and finishing up my studies. It was absolute chaos, and giving up a beautiful, quaint, creek-side cottage in Marin County for a journey into the unknown. I kept asking myself, 'Are you sure?' But the answer was clear: I was going. 'Conditions are favorable, go for it.' So, I went to India and Nepal with my sister. We had all kinds of wild adventures – meeting Indian saints and sages, experiencing magic, devotion, tears, anxiety, panic attacks, being mobbed by beggars. Basically anything and everything that can induce catharsis on a daily basis. It was a one-way ticket, and I decided to stay on in Asia.

 

That adventurous spirit, I partly credit to coffee, a staple in American culture. I started drinking coffee in my pre-teens, and it has certainly contributed to my life adventures. We can see how this sense of adventure is related to so many things, like getting out of a habit loop of the mind, or melting down a worldview to open up new paradigms, paradigm shifts. This kind of adventure space requires melting down threats, fears, or insecurities about the unknown. For some, it's more natural, a character trait, but for others, it's a real leap, and that's admirable. It's a virtue, a treasure, a skill.

Because guess what? Our next retreat starts tomorrow. That's the reintegration, returning home, or wherever we're headed. That's the first day of the retreat of the rest of our lives. This new possibility space can reveal opportunities that have been right under our noses the whole time. That's why we promote positivity bias over negativity bias, which can cause us to overlook opportunities. With a shift to positivity, we suddenly see what's been there all along, a metaphor for enlightenment, in a way. So, embracing this adventurous spirit, thinking outside the box, and stepping out of comfort zones is something I really appreciate. It's brought everyone here to this retreat and opened them up to intense practice, introspection, self-discovery, diving into sensitive emotional places or hardwired pre-programmed self-images and thought patterns.

 

These are no small endeavors. Look at what we've accomplished in these past 10 days. Try to recall the state of your mind on day zero. Even if you've done a retreat before, there's still the unknown. That beginner's mind, the mystery, the potentiality of what could happen on a retreat, and all that has actually happened. In our hearts and minds, we've had very rich, robust quality experiences. These will likely be transformative, especially if we prioritize our fruitful practice and put it into action.

 

Strategies. What strategies have we been using to meet challenges, to move through and overcome them? What were the strategies we used in these first few days? It could have been one challenge after another as we settled into a new routine, developing new habits, and a lot of radical newness. What were those strategies? This strategy here of focusing on the positivity, for instance.

 

Celebrating our virtues, giving ourselves encouragement – it's almost like a survival strategy in life, right? A life skill, a strategy to not throw in the towel, to persevere. Sometimes it's essential, a survival strategy where giving up isn't an option and we have to step up to meet the challenge. What were the strategies we were using at the beginning of the retreat to start facing new challenges? That's worthy of reflection. Perhaps we didn't think we were coming to a retreat to learn that, but these virtues or skills are often developed through sincere meditation practice. Skills like self-esteem, self-confidence, self-discipline, self-motivation. They are extremely valuable.

 

That's why meditation is presented as part of a more integrated whole life project or practice. One benefit of having it presented that way is that we see many other virtues and character strengths that come along with it, especially as it integrates more into our lives. The real fruits of this retreat will come when we integrate what we've learned into action, into our life. That's a huge part of the reintegration process and following through to actually benefit from what we've learned. So, some discussion could involve how to establish a daily practice at home and how to stay committed to that. Yes, different strategies that we can use back home, but also how to structure the daily practice.

 

Before we move into reflecting on the middle phase of the retreat, these first few days, we were just getting familiar with our meditation theme or object. Finding one that fits us, feels connected, inspiring, and fulfilling our retreat goals and intentions. What goals and intentions did we come in with, and how might those have evolved over the course of the retreat? For some of us, they might have changed from day to day. It's amazing to see how malleable, changeable, and shape-shifting the whole experience can be, opening up new possibilities. Reflecting on what goals and intentions we came into the retreat with is a wonderful exercise.

 

I felt that on arrival day before noble silence began, during our late evening greeting and orientation, we weren’t able to fully discuss and share our retreat goals and intentions. So they’ve mostly been coming up for clarification and discussing during walking interviews. How did our goals and intentions morph or shape-shift over the course of the retreat? Or to what extent have they been fulfilled?

 

These are excellent reflections that can help reveal important dynamics of a retreat process, and how insights and shifts in attitude and understanding can really influence our outlook. I came in here with these intentions and goals. Maybe life had other plans for me, or perhaps I've been able to meet some of those intentions and goals.

 

These strategies I used will carry over directly into my life, setting goals, having intentions, and co-creating my life to bring that about. Hopefully, those goals and intentions are elevating the quality of life in real, genuine ways, and maybe in very new, fresh discovery ways. So that's another topic – what are our goals and intentions, and we can even set new ones for returning, like starting the next retreat tomorrow. We can have new goals and intentions for how we'd like to reintegrate what we've learned and benefit from that.

 

I can share a story I heard in one of my first retreats, called 'Good Luck, Bad Luck, Who Knows?' It's a tale you find in many traditions. It's about this farmer who had a magnificent plow horse. The horse was so efficient that the farmer often harvested two crops a year, making his neighbors quite envious. When they would comment on his good fortune, the farmer would just respond, "Hmm, good luck, bad luck, who knows?" Then one stormy night, lightning struck, the horse broke through the fence and ran away.

 

The next morning, the neighbors, seeing this, said, "Oh, your stud plow horse has run away, what bad luck!" But the farmer just replied, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?" Sometime later, the farmer is sitting on his porch when he sees the stud plow horse returning, accompanied by several wild mares. The neighbors exclaimed, "Oh, your horse is back with more horses, what good luck!" But again, the farmer said, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"

 

The farmer's son then tried to tame the wild horses, but in doing so, he was thrown off and broke both his legs. The neighbors sympathized over his 'bad luck.' The farmer's response remained unchanged. Later, when the army came to draft young men for a war, the son was spared due to his broken legs. The neighbors thought this was very good luck. The farmer simply said, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?" This story teaches us that we can never be sure where circumstances will lead us, and it's more about how we respond to these circumstances.

 

So, how to conclude after that punchline... In the spirit of uncertainty, or perhaps the co-creation magic of positivity, we can transform every situation into a practice, into a learning opportunity. That seems to me like, good luck, good luck, we do know.

 

May all auspicious circumstances prevail. May our highest aspirations be fulfilled. Wishing well and fruitful practice. Okay, let's take 10 minutes break and meet down at the dock for a silent meditation walk and playful journey across the lake over to the island.